Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Syllabus Jihad

This student's religious zeal for the syllabus is so intense that they print it out the second it goes on blackboard, read it, memorize it, and tuck it into bed with them before finally getting it to the first day of class.

Then, because they view the syllabus as greater than or equal to the Constitution of the United States of America, they will not stand to see one tiny infraction in their scripture.


Professor: "Ok, so we're going to be doing two papers in this class--"

The Syllabi Jihad: "I object! The schedule states that the second paper is due on Wednesday November the 31st, a date which doesn't exist on any Gregorian calendar isn't that right professor?"

Professor: "Yes well I was getting to that, my TA made a mistake, Wednesday is actually the 30th which is when the paper will be--"

The Syllabi Jihad: "Overruled! And where is this alleged 'final study guide' that is promised in section C para. 1? According to the last time I checked blackboard, approximately 12 minutes ago, there is no such thing. Can you elaborate?"

Professor: "But the final's four months away, I didn't think you'd need it--"

The Syllabi Jihad: "Aha! So you admit you weren't thinking? Perhaps there was some substance abuse that impaired your thought process? I don't need to remind the ladies and gentlemen of the jury about the incriminating photos of said professor seen with caffeine-laced Coke in the Cougareat?"

[Professor breaks into uncontrollable sobbing]

The Syllabi Jihad: "I have no further questions."


At least until your next class when it starts all over again.

2 comments:

  1. The best/worst is when you have two Syllabus Jihads in one class. You will not begin discussion until at least the second week of school if this is your situation.

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  2. I would have thought this was an exaggeration but I sat next to a kid in my finance class who had printed out his own copy of the syllabus. They are real. There are dozens of them! DOZENS!

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