The One

{for the full effect, read this while listening to Barry White's "Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe"}

The One is that guy at whom you stare in class. Rarely seen in classes relating to your major (he is particularly endangered when your major is English), The One is typically found in General Ed (e.g. Biology 101, American Heritage, Math 119) or religion classes. His appearance varies for each victim, but he tends to have a vaguely smug and yet amiable expression on his perfect face. When you first stumble across The One, you'll be convinced that you have never before seen a more beautiful man. You'll start planning your future with The One: naming your children, designing your home, planning family vacations, etc. You will also engage in imaginary conversations, in which he is witty, fun, and fascinated by everything you say. However one-sided it may be, the relationship between you and The One is deep and magical--until the semester ends, you never got up the courage to actually speak to him, and you have a C in the class.