The Perpetual Dater

This species is usually of the male variety (although there are similar kinds of females that shall be extrapolated at a later date) and more specifically so, the Returned Missionary genre. This subject knows his purpose in life is to multiply and replenish the earth, but before he decides on the perfect fit, he's going to try on every shoe, in every store, in the whole mall. He can usually be spotted by his energetic smile, his brightly colored polo or the 6,398.59 friends he has on facebook. High traces of Hollister cologne have also been identified at the scene of the crime as well as a big professional backpack that is full of nothing but extra pens and papers to amiably give to unsuspecting victims. Or by the fact that he always has a various female, of the adorable variety, close at hand.

This guy blows through Relief Societies faster than swine flu, and leaves about as much destruction in his wake. Tearing through the Sisters in Zion with his charm and his King Henry confidence. He is also a master at his plan. He will figure out how to turn any situation into a date--one second he's taking care of your Taco Bell trash at the Cougareat while simultaneously getting your name, hometown, major, phone number, the number of children you will bear him...(always in this order) then he's whisking you over to Sugar and Spice where a small scoop of cookies & cream (paid for with his signature card) is supposed to make you swoon, then you have a doorstop scene in front of the Wilk where he professes his "undying like" for you and then by the time you walk through the bookstore you see him sipping a Jamba cheek to cheek with a freshman from Mesa.