Brangelina

These crazy kids started dating about two weeks before Fall semester started--giving them just enough time to schedule all of their general and religion classes together. They ALWAYS sit next to each other. ALWAYS!! Heaven help you if you are sitting in between the last two open seats and you don't immediately move over so they can bask uninterrupted in their Love. You see, Brangelina uses class to give/receive sensuous back massages, whisper giggly little secrets, and fix each other's hair. This is more tolerable if they are one of those Beautiful couples, especially if at least one of them is ethnic, but unfortunately the frumpy Brangelinas are the most common. If there is only one seat left in the room, he will chivalrously allow her to sit there, causing her to get all verklempt and wipe away a tiny tear.

The male half of Brangelina is always a returned missionary, and this is probably his first relationship since he's been home. This is one explanation (but not an excuse) for his over-eager, slightly scary compulsion to tie that crap down. Since he is an RM as well as a Committed Boyfriend, he has declared himself expert on all topics spiritual and romantic. Don't ever EVER start a conversation with him, however desperately you may need notes, or an essay prompt, or the Heimlich. The female part of this dream team is an underclassman who still has some general credits to finish, which works out perfectly because he, too, still needs to take American Heritage. She has possibly less personality than any other human you will ever encounter.

SIDE EFFECTS OF BRANGELINA

• if they are Hot Brangelina, you may find yourself feeling sad that you aren't in a wonderful, happy relationship like theirs.
• if they are Fug Brangelina, you may have trouble holding in your vomit.