The Candidates

You're innocently walking to the Wilk, hoping that Sugar and Spice hasn't run out of Graham Canyon ice cream, deciding whether or not you'd be deemed Telestial if you took a nap in the library instead of going to Devotional, when suddenly you are blinded by all the colors of Donny Osmond's Technicolor Dreamcoat. Has the circus come to town? How did all these balloons get here so quickly? Packs of smiling, shiny people gradually come into view, and all is clear: tis the season for BYUSA elections.

BYU is always full of friendly, high-fivin' dudes and dudettes, but around election time, the BYUSA-ers become a gaggle of Tracy Flicks. Cutthroat and immune to any embarrassment, they will stop at absolutely nothing in their quest to be in charge of BYU parties make a difference. Nominees will reestablish contact with one-time acquaintances from their Helaman Halls Elders Quorums. They will shove tiny flyers down strangers' throats and refuse to take, "I actually don't have a second, I have to...pray..." for an answer. Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these candidates from the swift coercion of their apathetic peers with the help of their bright, catch-phrase'd posters.

Don't worry, we'll consider voting--provided there's a free t-shirt and possibly some of that Graham Canyon in it for us.